how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize