You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
