I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
