Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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