I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
