Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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