We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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