She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
