You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
