when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
