Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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