he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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