Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
