bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Randomize
