Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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