Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
