i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am midnight drunk by noon
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
