My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
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