Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize