oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
