we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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