We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize