I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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