the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Fuck appropriateness.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize