Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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