What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize