All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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