you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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