Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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