Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
