Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
