strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
