Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
literally had 100 drinks last night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
