You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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