Cold hands, warm shart.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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