i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
