Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my poor anus
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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