time to smoke my breakfast
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
