I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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