Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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