he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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