Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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