If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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