All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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