You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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