I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife