We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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