i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize