you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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