K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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