Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Randomize
