Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize