yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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